First Love

When I was young

 I met a boy

Who gave me my first kiss

He professed to love me

My first boyfriend

Whom I only saw at school

We talked about our school life

Our likes, dislikes

But not about much more

We were young, barely twelve

And in puppy love

He disappeared one day

I heard rumors

He was ill

That his family mistreated him

Then the horrible truth

That both were true

That he’d try to kill himself

My heart heavy

I waited for him to come back

So I could shower him with love

Let him talk to me

I’d be there for him

Let him know I cared

But when he came back to school

I was puzzled

He wouldn’t look at me

He didn’t speak to me

Though I tried and told him

Nothing had changed for me

I didn’t understand

How first love had turned to ashes

Surely it was just depression talking?

Giving him space

I thought it would turn around

I waited for him to approach me

But he never did

And one month later

He disappeared again

I was terrified

Had he tried again?

Then I heard

He’s safe now

They took him away

From his horrible family

And I breathed a sigh of relief

For I thought

How could I be sad

But the next moment I was

For I’d never see him again

A little part of me remembers

That first kiss

And how it felt to be his first love

And wonder sometimes

If he is still safe?

Does he know someone

Still cares

If only as a friend?

©Sheilagh Lee July 8, 2017