Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Invisible illness

I should close my eyes
And wake up tomorrow
Hoping things have changed
No pain, no anger, no crankiness
Just affability, the self I love
Galvanized and charged
Agile and rangy again
I will roar and take life
By the horns
Living my life
The way I want to
And not the way
This invisible illness
Steals from me
Trying to take all hope
All normal life
Tired and in pain.

Thoughts disconnecting
I want to write
The ideas in my head
But they’re slowly disappearing
Too tired to write
Too tired to read
Television seems the answer
But even it is too hard to follow
When your body feels heavy
You’re every muscle, every eon, pinging
Screaming pain, pain, pain
Worse then any flu
You fight against it
After all tomorrow’s always another day
With relief maybe in sight.

©Sheilagh Lee January 29, 2014

For those of you who don't know I suffer from a number of auto-immune diseases, one of them Fibromyalgia . Some people believe because you can't see the results of this disease that it is all in the head of the inflicted but research has proven it's existence and they have factual evidence from MRI studies of it's existence.  The doubt and insistence by those naysayers that this illness is fake makes this disease all the harder to make people understand that you suffer from it so we suffer in silence and some in secret. We wouldn't wish this on anyone.

With Fibromyalgia if you get another illness like a sinus infection (like I have right now) it intensifies all the symptoms that's why I wrote this today.