Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Three Word Wednesday- Miss you still

Three Word Wednesday- Miss you still

Chilly, adjective: uncomfortably cool or cold; (of a person) feeling cold; unfriendly.
Glorious, adjective: having, worthy of, or bringing fame or admiration; having a striking beauty or splendor that evokes feelings of delighted admiration.
Petite, adjective: (of a woman) having a small and attractively dainty build; small, dainty, diminutive, slight, little, tiny, elfin, delicate, small-boned.

You were never petite
You were larger than life
It seemed, a glorious vision
Of beauty and brains
I was proud of you
Maybe a little jealous too
Of your easy way
Of grabbing all the attention
All the air in a room

You knew your own mind
Yet you felt displaced
When I come along
To add to the family
Still you took in stride
Reached out to me
Offering the big sister
Advice, demanding the accolades
Puzzled by the differences between us
The peer pressure too strong
You became a little distant and chilly
In your teen years
An island to yourself
I missed the closeness
We once had
I hoped to get it back

I cannot shoulder all the blame
Neither of us were perfect
But I walked on eggshells
And was always reaching out
Was it all one sided
Or were you just so puzzled still?
Reaching out and being rebuffed
Striving to return to days past
But it was not to be
Life got in the way
First boyfriends
Husbands, then babies
Finally time ran out
Death came too soon

Now there are only recriminations
Self-doubts and regret
Sadness when I think of you
And the relationship
We could have had

For I love you still.

©Sheilagh Lee  March 25, 2015

12 comments:

  1. How sad to think of that lost opportunity. We cannot make someone want to have that connection, though, even if they're kin.

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  2. Sometimes siblings are close and loving or fiercely competitive. My brother and I were as you describe. I was quite jealous to discover siblings could be friends in other families.

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    1. too true OldEgg wouldn't that have been nice? Unfortunately you know the old adage a round peg in a square hole or the cuckoo in the nest? I felt like that a lot.

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  3. It is so hard isn't it...time has a way of dealing us blows that make us question..but at least there was something there...something still to hold onto...

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    1. yes I'd like to think there was some affection there just that it was hard to express.

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  4. the power of words bringing memories !

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  5. Yes, sometimes time and circumstances can divide us from those we love and it's only when we look back do we see the time wasted in not closing the gap. But it takes two to do that and sometimes one half is not willing. So sad.

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  6. Interesting poem. It is not an uncommon situation. Siblings are not always close and it is unrealistic to think that because you are related to someone you get along. You can choose friends but you cannot choose family.

    Rallentanda

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